Child education is one of the most difficult things faced by parents, and the stages of raising the child begins from a young age, especially since the child is at that stage easy to accept the correct habits and education even if the parents bear that the child does not accept the advice easily.
Considers violence in children from the psychological things that affect the child ‘s psyche perhaps for long periods and can cause data in the dispersal of the thought of the child and make him react style is only with the community.
If the perpetrators of the violence are those who expect the child to protect and safety, there is no hope and no safety as this weak creature turns into an introverted and distracted thinking and is unable to face the pain and this is the beginning to defend himself by pouring anger on society and begins the stage of counter-violence.
Often these pains are deposited in the mind and memory of the child and make him unable to achieve what he expects and what he dreams and pour into it, and the outcome of these crises is a product sometimes difficult for the therapist to find a way out.
Dr. Ahmed Gamal Abu El-Azayem, consultant psychiatrist and head of the Egyptian Psychiatric Association, said that children who suffer from abuse at home, the battlefield extends from their homes and includes the school, which leads them to school failure, school failure and difficulties with various community authorities. Children who are beating and living in an uncomfortable and hostile world are drawn to the accompaniment of children like them and always hear from them that “my father and my teacher do not understand me, but my friend understands me.” They are the nucleus of gangs and bullying groups in the streets and schools, We should not be surprised if many of the young people refuse adult life, style and religious concepts. We should not be surprised that those who have been beaten to use violence against their families and society at the first opportunity are able to do so.
Dr. Abu al-Azayem asserts that some parents hate beating their children and may do so forcedly. Often, the father or mother hits the child to solve their problems, not to raise the child or to fulfill their demands, which are a problem for them. Research has shown that children who are beaten grow little respectful of themselves, With low-paying jobs, we must ask ourselves what alternatives to beating the child.
if your anger increas from his actions?
If you feel angry and lose control of yourself and you will have to hit your child, leave the place temporarily .. Calm away from the child and relax in these moments when you will be away from your child find alternative or solution to the problem.
Give yourself some time to rest. Many parents are tempted to hit children when they do not have time to rest in their lives so it is important that parents get some time off reading, exercise, walking, worshiping and praying. Be loving but be firm and usually The frustration and rush to hit the child if he did not hear you speak several times and in the end you hit him to modify his behavior and another solution to such situations you can approach the child and look in his eyes and hold him tenderly and in words thin and firm what you order him, such as «I want you to play Without noise. “
Giving your child alternatives is better than beating him. When a child is eating, it is best to tell him, “Either stop playing with food or I’ll hit you.”
If your child breaks something in the house, do not hit him because if you hit him, he feels anger and desire to take revenge on the parents who beat him and will learn that if he breaks something once he must hide or be accused of others or lies or simply that no one sees him for fear of beating You want to be respected by your child because he is afraid of you or because he loves you. Better to warn him that if he breaks it once he will buy it out of his pocket and if he breaks the neighbors window you can say to him: “You broke the glass and we will fix it while you share part of your expenses.” May do so, the decision will not be as wrong as it is to assume responsibility originally Error.
Dr. Abu al-Azayem added that there are penalties other than beatings when children do things that are forbidden and the parents agree with them not to repeat them. They are going to punish them. Alternatively, there are punishments that can be used. Or the performance of some hard work outside the home as compensation for not hearing him speak .. Such sanctions of a positive nature make the child committed to what was forbidden and make him accept punishment as that was punished by the benefit of the family.
Pull out of the discussion .. Those children who answer loudly or with great emotion and suffer and repeat the words of stubbornness lead the father or mother to slap them strongly on the face that it is better at such times quickly withdraw from positions, tell your child will wait for you in the other room if you want to Objection or talk again about the subject.
Use soft but decisive phrases. Do not hit your child’s little hands when he grabs anything and does not clenched his kind hands to take something from his hand, but take the child to another place and give him another toy to catch the child’s attention.
Inform your child in advance when your child’s screaming and crying are high, this may lose your temper. Children always use these intense emotions when they are punished for something they have not previously reported not working or because of their sense of helplessness in a situation instead of telling your son on the phone, for example leave your friend’s house immediately and come up now tell him five minutes to go home. The child has to finish what he has to do with playing, studying or talking.